After the Death of a Child

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Dezember 2012



For a parent, losing a child is the most devastating event that can occur. Most books on the subject focus on grieving and recovery, but as most parents agree, there is no recovery from such a loss. This book examines the continued love parents feel for their child and the many poignant and ingenious ways they devise to preserve the bond. Through detailed profiles of parents, Ann Finkbeiner shows how new activities and changed relationships with their spouse, friends, and other children can all help parents preserve a bond with the lost child.

Based on extensive interviews and grief research, Finkbeiner explains how parents have changed five to twenty-five years after the deaths of their children. The first half of the book discusses the short- and long-term effects of the child's death on the parent's relationships with the outside world, that is, with their spouses, other children, friends, and relatives.

The second half of the book details the effect on the parents' internal world: their continuing sense of guilt; their need to place the death in some larger context and their inability sometimes to consistently do so; their new set of priorities; the nature of their bond with the lost child and the subtle and creative ways they have of continuing that bond. Finkbeiner's central point is not so much how parents grieve for their children, but how they love them.

Refusing to fall back on pop jargon about "recovery” or to offer easy solutions or standardized timelines, Finkbeiner's is a genuine and moving search to come to terms with loss. Her complex profiles of parents resonate with the honesty and authenticity of uncomfortable emotions expressed and, most importantly, shared with others experiencing a similar loss. Finally, each profile exemplifies the many heroic ways parents learn to live with their pain, and by so doing, honor the lives their children should have lived.


1. At First
2. Marge Ford's Marriage
3. Fathers and Mothers, Husbands and Wives
Changes in the Marriage
4. Brandt Jones's Family
5. Brothers and Sisters, Sons and Daughters
Changes in the Relationship with Other Children
6. Leight Johnson and His Fellow Man
7. Janet Wright's Bad Friends
8. Changes Toward Other People
9. Chris Reed
10. On Guilt
11. Delores Shoda and the Uncertainty of Life
12. Job's Children
Changes Toward God
13. Diana Moores' World
14. The Zero Point
Changes in Perspective
15. Anne Perkins' Priorities
16. Surface Ditties and Carpe Diem
Changes in Priorities
17. Walter Levin
18. The Nature of the Bond
19. One Person Now
The Continuing Trajectory
Suggestions for Further Reading


Camille Wortman, Ph.D. Professor of Psychology, State University of New York at Stony Brook By focusing on the long-term impact of losing a child, Ann Finkbeiner has raised issues and concerns that are rarely addressed. Her book is thought-provoking, deeply moving, and filled with insight and hope. I recommend it enthusiastically to parents and professionals.
EAN: 9781476725703
Untertitel: Living with the Loss Through the Years. EPUB. Sprache: Englisch.
Verlag: Simon + Schuster Inc.
Erscheinungsdatum: Dezember 2012
Seitenanzahl: 288 Seiten
Format: epub eBook
Kopierschutz: Adobe DRM
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